In late breaking news, Canada has just annexed the country immediately south of its border. The Canadian prime minister welcomed the country’s new eleventh province.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love our new province of America,” he said. “I love the people of America. I know many people from America that are good friends of mine,\u201d he said with a smirk, before explaining why the country shouldn\u2019t exist anymore.<\/p>\n
\u201cAmerica only works as a province,\u201d he went on. \u201cIf you look at a map, they drew an artificial line right through it, between Canada and the province of America, just a straight artificial line. Somebody did it a long time ago \u2014 many, many, decades ago, and it makes no sense. It’s so perfect as a great and cherished province.\u201d<\/p>\n
The only sour note was the stubborn refusal by the Associated Press to call the Gulf of Canada by its new name. But the Canadian government didn’t ban A.P. from its press conferences, because Canadians are nice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In late breaking news, Canada has just annexed the country immediately south of its border. The Canadian prime minister welcomed the country’s new eleventh province. \u201cI love our new province of America,” he said. “I love the people of America. I know many people from America that are good friends of mine,\u201d he said with … Continue reading “Late breaking news”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27322"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27322"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27322\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27324,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27322\/revisions\/27324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kenperlin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}