Of course I tried ChatGPT. How could I resist? I learned that it is really good at some things, and terrible at others. It is wonderful at answering scientific questions, or giving code examples.
But my favorite thing about it is how you can ask it to describe any topic in the style of any author. I asked it to describe a banana in the styles of various famous people. See if you can guess the author of each description. They are roughly in order from least to most terrifying.
“The banana, yellow and sleek,
Lies coiled upon the plate.
Its smooth skin holds a secret,
A taste both sweet and great.
I peel back the layers,
And reveal the fruit within.
Its soft, creamy flesh,
A symphony of sin.
I take a bite and savor,
The taste that fills my mouth.
A hint of tropical sunshine,
A hint of the South.
The banana, strange and exotic,
A fruit both plain and grand.
It tempts and teases,
And holds me in its hand.”
“A banana is a product of capitalist society, created through the exploitation of the labor of the global south. Its bright yellow skin and sweet, tropical flavor are the result of the exploitation of Third World farmers and the plundering of the natural resources of the global south.
The banana is a commodity, produced for the benefit of the capitalist class and consumed by the proletariat. Its production and distribution are controlled by powerful multinational corporations that seek to maximize profit at the expense of the workers and the environment.
But the banana is more than just a commodity. It is a symbol of the global capitalist system and its inherent contradictions. Its production and distribution are linked to the exploitation of labor, the destruction of the environment, and the exploitation of the global south. The banana is a reminder of the need for revolutionary change and the overthrow of the capitalist system.”
“The banana sits on the counter, a bright yellow curve against the white porcelain. I pick it up, feeling the smooth skin give way under my fingers. It’s almost too perfect, too smooth and unblemished, like a plastic toy. I peel back the skin and reveal the pale, soft fruit inside. It’s almost obscene, the way it yields to my touch. I take a bite and feel the sweetness burst in my mouth, like a wound that won’t heal. It’s sickly, cloying, a reminder of all the things I can’t have. I toss it aside, the half-eaten fruit mocking me with its false promises of nourishment and sustenance. I turn away, my stomach churning with disgust and something like desire.”
“The banana is a curious and unsettling fruit, with its smooth, curved shape and bright yellow skin. It seems almost alien in nature, as if it were brought to our world from some far-off, eldritch realm.
As I peel back the layers, revealing the soft, white flesh beneath, I can’t shake the feeling that I am uncovering something ancient and forbidden. The sweet, tropical aroma fills my senses, almost hypnotizing me with its allure. But as I take a bite, I can’t help but feel that I am tasting something otherworldly, something that should not be known to mortal man.
The banana is a mystery, a portal to strange and ancient powers that threaten to unravel the very fabric of reality. Beware the banana, for it holds within it a terror that defies description.”
You wouldn’t believe it, folks, but I’ve got the best banana in all of the land. It’s huge, it’s beautiful, it’s yellow, it’s just incredible. I’m telling you, this is the best banana you’ve ever seen. It’s got the most amazing flesh, it’s so soft and creamy, it just melts in your mouth. And the smell, oh boy, let me tell you, it’s just unbelievable. It’s got this sweet and fragrant aroma that just fills the room.
But it’s not just about the looks and the taste, folks. This banana is a winner in every way. It’s so versatile, you can use it in so many different ways. Smoothies, cakes, curries, you name it. And it’s got the most incredible shape, it’s just like a curve of the female form. It’s just perfection.
So if you want the best banana out there, folks, you’ve got to come to me. I’ve got the best banana, and I’m not afraid to say it. Believe me, it’s the best. You won’t find a better banana anywhere. Trust me, folks.