A friend, while giving me a rid to the airport this evening, observed how patient his GPS is with him. “She never gets upset, no matter what I do,” he said.
I agreed that this has been my experience as well. No matter what sort of boneheaded mistake I make, no matter how many wrong turns I take, the voice on my GPS never gets in the least upset with me. She just says “Recalulating”. Then, after a slight pause, we are on our way again, cheerful as ever.
I told my friend that it would be amazing if our human relationships were this way. That time you somehow don’t walk the dog, or you leave your socks in the sink again, or you forget her birthday.
And in response your partner just says “Recalculating”. Then, after a moment’s pause, we’re on our way again, cheerful as ever.
It seems like this would be very nice. But I wonder, would it be a good thing?
What is even more fascinating… people who construct, from “whole cloth,” the sense the the GPS is “mad at them,” or “annoyed with them.” I have heard this, too.
It is patently false, but accepted, as a kind of self-deprecating story. We allow others to construct personalities for robots, where none exist, because otherwise there would be no characters to inhabit their trip through Italy and their endless wrong turns.
Is this a good thing? Characterization – in your case, forgiving, in mine… not so much – where none has been created?
And what of the actual “forgiving” or “impatient” robot? Will we be accepting of such a ‘personality?’ Will we start taking advantage of the forgiving robot and resenting the impatient one? Will we wish we could go back to the days when robots had no personalities at all, save for the projected personalities that we gave them?
I’ve always heard a note of exasperation in the voice of my GPS. As if it’s saying “Really? You missed that turn? I TOLD you about it half a mile ago! I even showed it to you on the map! How could you possibly miss that?”
I’m going to try this at home…
“Recalculating” sounds like the 10 second rule for anger management. Once offended, count to 10 before responding.
Google maps doesn’t even say “recalculating”. It just gives you the next directions as if it always meant for you to do whatever you just did.
Maybe the thing is that “two wrongs make a right” only works with GPS and hardly in relationships. 😉
So maybe Google maps is a model for the ideal relationship. 🙂
Also, three lefts make a right 🙂
Ah, very clever!!! And one good turn deserves another.
“It seems like this would be very nice. But I wonder, would it be a good thing?”
Probably no in human relationships. While ‘never getting upset’ makes things easier, it does not communicate what we care/want (and how much). Without knowing what the other person really cares/wants, the relationship is unlikely to be enjoyable/sustainable.
So, **that’s** what you think of my take on relationships. Hmm. Recalculating…
😉