Anyone who has played the game The SIMS is familiar with those little bubbles floating over the heads of characters in the game, showing their energy level, happiness, fatigue, hunger, and various other mental statistics. Eventually, if technology progresses in certain directions, we might be able to see similar bubbles floating over the heads of people in the real world.
But I’m thinking today about something a little less obvious. I spent several hours today in deep conversation with someone who always gives me energy. After our discussions, I generally feel wonderful — more open, more aware, more engaged in the human condition, basically more alive.
We all know people whose presence increases our mental and emotional energy, and other people who have the opposite effect. Given that we each only get a certain number of days to live on this planet, clearly a good general rule is to spend a lot of time with that first group of people, and and not so much with the second group.
Perhaps, as machine learning algorithms continue to advance, we might one day see bubbles over the heads of other people telling us how much energy we would give each other. In the long run, these little floating “cheat sheets” might help us each to live fuller and deeper lives.
On the other hand, maybe none of this is necessary. Sometimes I know, within the first second after meeting someone, which category they will fall into. And I suspect I would get it right pretty much all the time if I learned to listen better to my inner voice.
And that’s probably not something I need a computer for.
Also worth noting is that sometimes (and this may not be true in your case, you’d have to check) when you are getting all this great energy from talking with someone, they might be getting drained.
It might have to do with being an introvert vs being an extrovert. Extroverts get recharged by talking with people. Introverts are the opposite. You may be an extrovert who when talking with another extrovert has a great time. Conversely, when you talk with an introvert, it may be hard for them, and you perceive that.
Good point.
Actually, in this particular case, I think one of the key “power ups” for both of us is that we are both very good at — because we practice — listening to what the other is really saying, rather than just assuming we know what the other is saying, and blathering on.
I suspect that much of the “draining effect” that you’ve observed is due to people not knowing how to effectively listen to each other.
Like any other skill, listening is not something you can ever get perfect at. But continual practice and attention helps a lot.