I now pronounce you…

Today I showed Princess Bruschetta to a number of colleagues at NYU. And a surprisingly fierce debate flared up over just how to pronounce her name.

There are people (mainly Americans) who say “brushetta”, and others (mainly Europeans) who say “brusketta”. Of course if you are speaking Italian, it is definitely the latter. But in what circumstance is the former also valid?

I think I can come up with at least one such circumstance: Princess Bruschetta is, if nothing else, an arriviste. She fancies herself sophisticated in the grand European manner, yet that air of sophistication is all a pose, a construct, a singular creation of her own fevered imagination.

She would never say “brusketta”, because such cultural precision would imply a familiarity with original sources that goes against the very essence of her being. In the final analysis, she is most definitely a “brushetta” kind of gal.

After all, as a delirious marriage of sublime self-possession and pure delusion, Princess Bruschetta must hold to a standard all her own.

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