Global cooling

In future news, this just in:

In 2040 global warming reaches the point of no return. Scientists realize that by the year 2100, the Earth will be uninhabitable to humans.

Fortunately, the invention in 2038 of the Zickbocker-Schlumbeck treatment offers a chance of survival. All around the world, in a rare example of full international cooperation, expectant mothers receive the treatment. The slim hope of saving humanity hangs in the balance.

Nine months later, the first thermihumans are born. They seem identical to their predecessors in every way, except for their preference for hot climates. Really hot climates. Also a great resistance to ultraviolet light and an aversion to lettuce.

To a thermihuman, any temperature below 80 degrees fahrenheit (about 27C) is unbearable. In contrast, a thermihuman finds 120 degrees fahrenheit (about 49C) to be rather pleasant.

Global warming continues unabated, yet the new generation thrives. By the time all of the Earth’s hydrocarbon based fossil fuels have been spent, the ozone layer is nearly gone. Thermihumans are in heaven.

But then, with no more hydrocarbon to burn, the planet gradually starts to cool down. Most people shrug it off, except for a few eccentrics who rant about “global cooling”.

Nobody believes them, until at last plummeting temperatures make the end seem inevitable. Wars start to break out around the planet.

A group of top scientists gathers. They cannot restore balance to the earth, but that doesn’t mean they are ready to give up.

At last a lone scientist comes up with a solution. “Why,” she asks, don’t we just engineer human beings that are resistant to cooler temperatures?”

Humanity is saved.

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