Wrong-way Oreo

The other day, for the first time ever, I encountered a wrong-way Oreo. For those of you who don’t know, that’s an Oreo cookie that has one of its two dark chocolate wafers somehow turned around, so that its engraved outer side ends up on the inside, pressing inward to form a tell-tale impression, in perfect mirror-reverse, upon the snowy white cream filling.

I hadn’t been expecting it. In fact, I hadn’t even been aware that such a thing exists. Perhaps there are people who go around and speak of wrong-way Oreos, swapping tales of this arcane mystery in the same hushed and knowing tones they use when speaking of Bigfoot sightings or the alligators that dwell in the sewers of New York. Not that I have ever been in such a conversational group. Until now.

Today I asked various people if they had ever seen a wrong-way Oreo. My friend Charles said he saw one once, a few years back. Several other people reported having seen one as well. Charles has the theory that some part of the manufacturing process involves the chocolate wafer dropping downward, and that every once in great while a wafer lands the wrong way. He may very well be right.

But as I contemplated my oddball Oreo, I couldn’t help thinking there might be some deeper meaning here. Was this perhaps some sort of sign or omen? And if so, why was I chosen to get this cookie on this particular day? Would it still have counted if I had just eaten the cookie without ever looking at it? Or would fate then have conspired to place another wrong-way Oreo in my path?

And if fate were to deliver more wrong-way Oreos to me, what would happen if I were so oblivious that I just kept eating the darned things without ever noticing? Would fate then need to keep feeding me cookie after cookie, hoping against hope that one day I would become less oblivious? Would I one day find myself mysteriously eating entire boxes of Oreos, consuming vast quantities of the things until I became as round as – well – as an Oreo cookie?

These are metaphysical questions, far out of my league I am afraid. My feeble brain can contemplate only one wrong-way Oreo at a time. But even one cookie can have significance. Am I, perhaps, one of the few lucky humans, chosen by alien invaders, set apart by this secret sign from billions of less fortunate earthlings? I can envision a day dawning, after our planet’s ignominious defeat at the hands of the Lepusian space invasion force, perhaps sometime after the dust has settled, when the broken slag heaps of what had once been great earth cities lie smoking in ruins, and the once mighty suburbs of New Jersey have been reduced to desolate wastelands by beams of phase disruptor particles from the Lepusian imperial mothership. The few dazed remnants of a defeated human race slowly emerge, stunned, from out their hiding places, only to be picked off by precision laser fire from the dreaded roving lepudroids. On that day I shall stand triumphant, proud and free, ready to take my rightful place as a citizen of the galactic empire, holding my wrong-way Oreo cookie high for all to see, my ticket to a new world.

On the other hand, there is a chance that might not happen.

Weighing the promise of one day living a life of fabulous adventure roaming the galaxy far and wide in search of new civilizations, against the prospect of eating an Oreo cookie now, my internal struggle was brief.

Reader, I ate it.

12 Responses to “Wrong-way Oreo”

  1. Faredoon says:

    This sounds very much like the instance where Charlie found a Golden Ticket in his Wonka Bar. :-)

  2. admin says:

    Yes, just like Roald Dahl.

    Except for the part about alien space invaders and their wholesale apocalyptic destruction of the human race.

    Although I always suspected the Oompa Loompas were really an alien invasion force. I knew even when I was a kid that Gene Wilder was clearly up to no good… 😉

  3. Joe says:

    I have had an Oreo like this once, I only wish I thought about it this way. The pattern was nice though.

  4. Michael says:

    I know somebody who bought a pack of Oreos here just because of your post (over across the pond).
    Kraft Foods would like to thank you – time to put up some banner advertising.
    I wonder what google Adwords would display 😀

  5. admin says:

    Go ahead, spell it out, for the sake of our readers: Why would Kraft Foods thank me for saying nice things about a Nabisco product?

  6. Dagmar says:

    Perhaps because in 2000 Nabisco was brought into Kraft Foods by Philip Morris Companies. :-)

    But you know what, I ate two of those biscuits and they over all taste like “Prinzenrolle”, which is exactly a wrong way Oreo, because it has two white biscuits outside and a dark cream inside.

    So I might say, you joined the secret community of the people who are into “Prinzenrolle”. They believe they are the few lucky humans who will be chosen by alien invaders.

    And maybe we just have to wait a few years and all Oreos are wrong way Oreos. 😉

    Since this is a quite serious topic, I would suggest we should set up an international research team on it.

  7. Becca says:

    I too was chosen today by the great creators of wrong-way Oreos. I have been enlightened!

  8. Melissa says:

    I have found not one, not two but THREE of these omen Oreos in the same pack! I’m searching for answers online but perhaps I should be searching the night sky. As they say, “the truth is out there.”

  9. Doug says:

    Today, I found my first wrong-way Oreo. My first thought was how much is this worth? (seriously). First I had to establish rarity, which led me to this blog post. Having my hopes dashed for an early retirement, I ate the cookie. All of this occurred in less than 5 minutes. I love the Web. I can accomplish so much!

  10. Raul says:

    I found my first error oreo today. One opposite side. Now what?

  11. admin says:

    Who can say? It might be the beginning of a new chapter in your life… 😉

  12. Albert says:

    i found three today in the same package . I even have a picture of one in the package.Mine is in the mint flavor.

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