snark.unfair

I read a review today in The New York Times on a new book by David Denby – the film critic of the New Yorker – decrying snarky humor. In honor of that book, I humbly submit the following blog post. Please don’t hate me.


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On a whim, today I did a Google search of “Obama is the Antichrist”. Because this is America, I knew something juicy would show up. Sure enough, this double-quoted phrase returns 37,600 hits. That’s very respectible in anybody’s book. Many people would kill to get 37,600 hits for their name. And I think there is no doubt that the act of killing someone would increase anyone’s hit rate – an incentive for cold-blooded homicide if I’ve ever heard one.

When you follow the links, you find the expected assortment of nut-cases, most linking the ascendence of this particular Democratic candidate to the end of the Universe. The very idea of an “antichrist” presupposes that the Universe actually cares about our little planet and the strange two-legged creatures buzzing around on its surface. We are so full of ourselves, aren’t we?

Just to be fair, I then did a Google search on “McCain is the Antichrist”. Disappointingly, I got only 3200 hits. So it would seem that John McCain (assuming that is the McCain being referred to) is less than 1/10 as diabolical as Barack Obama. Imagine how disappointed McCain and his advisors must be, after all of the time and effort they put in last autumn to pierce the public consciousness.

And then I did one more search. OK, this is not fair, and I apologize in advance. I just had to do it. I mean, wouldn’t you? For completeness, I did a Google search on “Palen is the Antichrist.” Three lousy hits. And every one of them actually said “McCain/Palen is the Antichrist.”

That is just so unfair. She must be very disappointed.

8 Responses to “snark.unfair”

  1. Theophrastus says:

    Well, you’d get substantially more hits if you spelled Governor’s Palin’s last name correctly.

  2. admin says:

    Thanks – my bad!

    1490 hits. Much better. 1487 hits closer to Sarah Palin being the Antichrist.

    I think we all feel better now.

  3. troy says:

    Hmmm. “Obama is Hitler” only got 7000 hits. So, I guess it is more likely that he is the antichrist than hitler..

  4. admin says:

    Whereas “Troy is Hitler” gets only three hits. But nary a one for “Troy is the Antichrist”, which I am sure you will be relieved to know. On the other hand, Hitler is dead, so things might not work out so well for you after all.

  5. troy says:

    But… “troy is god” had 326 hits… So, just like i’ve been saying for years ; it is more likely that I am god than Hitler

    In either case, based on the numbers, Obama has the Antichrist thing down.

    Probably doesn’t bother him with the whole moslem background thing… :)

  6. admin says:

    Hmm. 326 hits, did you say? If you replace the two first digits by the two different ways they can be multiplied (3×2 and 2×3) you end up with a very different number: 666.

    Not only that, but consider the position of each letter in your name – T R O Y = 20 18 15 25. Take the integer nearest the average of the first and last numbers: (20+25)/2 → 22. Add that to the 15 and multiply by the 18. (22 + 15) × 18 once again produces 666!

    Troy, have you been holding out on us? 😉

  7. troy says:

    I’ve always said that the reason that I was born with a full head of hair was to hide the birthmark on my scalp that resembled the sign of the Beast.

    It never really mattered much until they shaved my head in boot camp. The drill seargent was obviously upset and told me that he would never allow Satan’s spawn in his beloved Corps. (This was particularly strange since I had enlisted in the Air Force and not the MArines.)

    So, I quickly pointed out that he was reading it upside down and that it was really a “999”. I then explained that 999 was the sign of a demigod. (the top half of course)

    He got a strange look on his face, muttered something about maggots, called me “private Pyle” and told me to clean the latrine with my toothbrush. Mind you, I did comply but thought it strange since we don’t have privates in the Air Force.

    Well… We do have private parts, just not the rank of private.

    I just don’t shave my head anymore to avoid confusion…

  8. admin says:

    Wow, sounds like that was a close shave indeed. Anyway, Satan or demigod, I’m really glad to hear you don’t have rank privates. :-)

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