Apple invents time machine

In a major technological breakthrough, Apple Computer has been awarded a prize of more than $1 billion for its invention and dramatic demonstration of a time machine.

The award was in the form of damages to be paid to Apple from Samsung, which had the affrontery to employ a “pinch to zoom” gesture, among other things, in its Android phones.

The genius of Apple (and really, let’s be honest, the genius of Steve Jobs) was that it managed to invent this groundbreaking technology literally decades after Myron Krueger first demonstrated the pinch-to-zoom gesture in 1983.

How many companies have the brilliance and the foresight to invent something long after it had already been publicly demonstrated and widely known within the field, and then the business savvy to extract a vast sum from others for the violation of its patents on that invention?

As Apple continues to develop and refine this ingenious time machine technology, it will be exciting to see what other bold and innovative technologies from the past this company will manage to invent and to take ownership of.

11 thoughts on “Apple invents time machine”

  1. I am so glad to see biting sarcasm on your blog ! I didnt want to be the only one to be sarcastic. Keep up the good work !!!

    BTW, I had not realized that Myron had done that work…


  2. Ah, if only the newspapers would have reported on the time machine part the verdict would have made so much more sense! And we know that Apple would never ever think to borrow what they liked from a design that they happened to see when visiting a well-known research lab, for example.

  3. In breaking news, Apple has been granted three new patents:

    Patent number #1234556, Claims 1) production of heat 2) by oxyidation 3) of carbohydrates 4) producing an endothermic effect called iFire

    Patent number #1234447, Claims 1) Reduction of friction 2) for moving objects 3) by means of round objects 4) centered on a hub 5) supported on an axle 6) called the iWheel

    Patent number #1234558, Claims 1) Painting 2) Involving a brush 2) Involving a wall 3) The color white 4) Of electronics stores 5) for innovative presentation of store in white

  4. This is just proof that Steve Job’s Reality Distortion Field extends beyond boundaries of time and mortality.

    Also, in light of this verdict Steve Job’s inspiring motto “Think Different” takes on a more sinister meaning and becomes an innovation-squashing command, “Think Different or Else.”

  5. It is very interesting that the one comment which points out what you could do (beyond griping about it) is the one comment that fails moderation.

  6. To “anon” (great name, by the way!): When I get comments from people for the first time, I need to manually accept them. Otherwise the blog gets overwhelmed by spam.

    The Krueger work was indeed known to the patent office and to all parties at the legal hearings. Apple’s argument was that it was applying the (already existing) two finger pinch gesture to a new domain — smart phones. Apple argued that applying this already well known gesture to a new device space was a protectable innovation.

  7. nice write-up, mirrors my views too… btw, i was telling my friends how, after some time, Apple will sue every other company for using the qwerty keyboard!

    @Sharon, I agree with you totally…

  8. on a side note, apple has been issued a patent for “method and apparatus for navigating the user interface of a mobile device via a circular disk or wheel” despite the prior art of steering wheels for cars.

  9. I’m not sure what there would be for me to say to the USPTO. There is nothing that I know that they don’t know. See my comment of August 26.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *