When you look at pop-cultural offerings, whether they be films, novels, or popular songs, there seems to be a specific gap between the primary wish fulfillment fantasy directed at men and the one directed at women.
There is definite overlap, for nothing here is in black and white. Generally the young hero or heroine, after going through suitable trials and tribulations, is given two essential rewards: (1) the optimal mate, and (2) the optimal position in society.
The gender difference creeps in when we look more closely at these two rewards. For women, the optimal mate is presented as the primary reward, and the position in society (eg: the perfect/fulfilling job) is merely a subsidiary reward, which is mainly present to verify that our plucky young heroine has nabbed herself the right guy.
Yet in a male-oriented fantasy it’s generally the other way around. The primary goal for the young hero is to find his proper place in society. He’s got to step up, assume the mantle of prince, take responsibility, befriend the dragon, become the man he’s been holding back from being. And if he fulfills these goals, then the love of the right woman will be thrown his way as a signal that he has indeed made the proper choices.
But the love of this woman is not the primary achievement. It’s merely an auxiliary verification that he has made those right choices and has come out on top.
I am left wondering whether this difference — for gals the big reward being get the guy, whereas for guys the big reward being to level up in society — is based on an intrinsic difference between men and women, or is a culturally imposed mandate, one that artificially separates men and women from each other, and that broadens the gulf of understanding between them.