Years are complicated things, with funny shapes and odd bits that stick out here and there. The only thing you can be sure of about a year is that it won’t turn out the way you thought.
I’ve come to realize that I do not measure my years by accomplishments or grand events, but rather by the state of my friendships — my connections with the people I care about. I have been reminded this past year that such matters are wildly out of my control. Wonderful friendships have entered my life seemingly out of nowhere, whilst others have sunk beneath the waves, never to be seen again.
This whole business of letting ourselves become close to others while bracing for the consequences of our inherent separateness — for the possibility of loss — is something I may never fully get used to. How do you love people properly, knowing they may be gone from your life a year hence?
If I have only one resolution for the new year, it is this: To accept this odd coming and going of human souls, both into and out of my life, as simply the way of the universe.
You can love others — even with all of your heart — but the hard truth of it is, you cannot be responsible for any soul but your own.