E pluribus unum

E pluribus unum is a Latin phrase written on all U.S. currency, which literally means “one out of many”. Originally it referred to the joining of the thirteen colonies into a single nation, but in modern times the phrase has taken on modern meanings. For example, many of us generally take for granted that this phrase now suggests that our nation is a glorious melting pot, one in which a citizen’s national or ethnic background does not impose an obstacle to the pursuit of dreams of individual success or achievement.

But every once in a while something stops us up short, and we realize that this naive view of America is far from universal. For example, today The New York Times published the following letter to the editor of the Arts and Leisure section (this is a real letter in today’s paper – I’m not making this up):

To the Editor:
    Re “Motherhood Becomes Her, Quite Often” by Felicia Lee [May 24]:
    I am offended that Phylicia Rashad is playing a white woman’s role in “August: Osage County.” It doesn’t make sense that she would have white siblings and children. As brilliant as Ms. Rashad is, the casting is off-kilter.
    I would be equally offended if a white actress was cast as Bess in “Porgy and Bess”, or in any of the black roles in “Raisin in the Sun” or August Wilson’s plays.
    Let’s keep white actresses playing white roles and blacks playing black roles.
          Ronald Fernandez
          Pittsburgh

I’ve been thinking over the logic of this letter since I first read it earlier today. I now realize that I have been sorely misled by the spirit of E pluribus unum into an erroneous belief that talent and hard work actually hold some currency in this society.

Of course I was wrong, as such foolish notions only lead to bad casting on the Stage. I humbly suggest that Mr. Fernandez is being far too timid in his thinking. Once you really start to pay attention, you realize that today’s theatre is rife with inappropriate casting decisions. For example, apparently none of the cast members of Boeing Boeing are french, even though the play clearly takes place in Paris. Mark Rylance (a British actor merely passing for french) should give back that Tony award immediately.

Even worse, not a single one of the actresses cast as Elphaba in the Broadway musical Wicked has been a real witch. Compounding this insult (I’m sorry if you find this shocking), not one of them has actually been green. Apparently, for the last several years the producers of this show have been passing off white actresses in greenface as the real thing. As Mr. Fernandez would no doubt agree, this is almost certainly a violation of the bylaws of Actor’s Equity.

I also understand that a non-ogre has been cast as Shrek, a actress not actually capable of sustained flight is playing the lead in “Mary Poppins”, and that “The Lion King” is simply rife with species-inappropriate casting. Think of all of the lion and warthog actors who are being deprived of an honest living by this execrable practice of casting humans instead of real animals – and don’t even get me started on the hyenas. Do the producers of this show actually believe that audiences won’t see right through those obviously fake costumes? I mean, is it just me, or don’t they all look like humans, transparently trying to pass themselves off as animals? It’s hard to believe that Julie Taymor was rewarded with a Tony for this blatant offense against our jungle neighbors.

Rumor also has it that a number of left handed actors have been cast in parts that clearly call for right-handed players, that many jewish actors are playing christians and vice versa, and that Geoffrey Rush has been cast as the lead of Ionesco’s “Exit the King”, even though the part clearly calls for an actor who is at least three hundred years old. I suspect Mr. Rush is not a day over a hundred and fifty.

And he may very well be even younger.

Worst of all, I just heard that someone who is simply claiming to be Gary Coleman is trodding the boards in “Avenue Q”. Somebody should alert the real Mr. Coleman immediately. Perhaps Mr. Fernandez can give him a call.

This is all just the tip of the iceberg. I’m sure Mr. Fernandez will join me in condemning other bizarre deviations from literal reality that have been ruining the dramaturgic experience for everyone. For example, actors have apparently been appearing on stage not to speak their own thoughts, but rather words that were in fact written by others, often by individuals who died hundreds of years ago (a recent performance of “Hamlet” comes to mind). Talk about betraying an audience’s trust!

Also, I’m sure Mr. Fernandez will agree that it is a complete violation of the dramatic contract for actors to wander around upon a stage pretending that the audience is not there, even though the audience is plainly visible to the entire cast. In the performance I saw of the play Mr. Fernandez cites – “August: Osage County” – actors were walking around some sort of obviously fake scenery, trying to convince us that they were inhabiting an actual house. Even worse, the players pretended that they were related to each other – that some were lovers, some where married, and others were siblings. The shameless cast kept up this ruse long after the audience had clearly realized that the entire enterprise was a sham. To set the record straight: None of the actors in this production are, in fact, from the same family.

I’m sure Mr. Fernandez and all other right thinking Americans will join me in protesting these shameful practices. After we have succeeded in achieving this righteous goal, then perhaps we should all join together and scrape those confusing words off of our Nation’s currency: E pluribus unum.

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