I got into a discussion this evening with a friend about the movie “Her”. There is a scene in this film involving simultaneous orgams, which raises all sorts of questions. And I realized that this scene reminded me of another famous movie orgasm scene.
I’m speaking of the restaurant scene in “When Harry Met Sally” where Sally (Meg Ryan) tells Harry (Billy Crystal) that women can convincingly fake an orgasm — and then proceeds to demonstrate her thesis with spectacular success. Director Rob Reiner’s mother, as a diner looking on from another table, delivers the great line that ends the scene: “I’ll have what she’s having.”
But the scene works on multiple levels, since what Sally is actually having is not an orgasm, but a moment of feminist triumph. She has just won a knock out punch in the war between the sexes.
Which brings me back to “Her”. When you first see this film, the simultaneous orgasm scene appears to be a moment of bonding between two souls.
But if you think about what an orgasm really is, on a biological and evolutionary level, you understand that one of those orgasms is fake. It is a sign that something here is veering away from reality and toward fantasy.
Which illuminates the real significance of the restaurant scene in “When Harry Met Sally”: Sally indeed asserts her power over Harry. Yet simultaneously, by telling him the truth, she affirms their friendship.
So what is Sally really having? She’s having a relationship built on truth and friendship. In the long run, that’s a lot better than a mere fantasy.