Several conversations I’ve had this week have focused on how hard it is to listen. In my experience, many people know how to speak, more or less, but far fewer know how to effectively listen to the response they get in return.
So the topic came up — why not teach listening in school? Shouldn’t listening be acknowledged as one of the fundamental skills one needs to master, in order to become a high functioning adult? Surely it is right up there with reading, writing and arithmetic.
And why isn’t this skill already being taught? Hmm, perhaps there is some deep seated societal aversion to the entire topic.
After all, if we were to acknowledge the need for such a course, we’d have to examine our own inadequate listening skills. That may very well be the point in the discussion at which people just stop listening.
I dunno — what do you think? I’m listening.
We teach listening at the CDM, as part of Patrick’s course. It is also a big part of those programs where qualitative research is important (anthropology, etc). In my home department (communication) we teach listening and also watching, as part of “unobtrusive methods” research techniques. (e.g., http://www.socialresearchmethods.net/kb/unobtrus.php)
I suspect that listening is also part of the curriculum in many art and design schools, as part of their training of giving – and receiving – critique.
The larger issue, however, is that while this does go on it is drowned out by the major emphasis on “presenting” and “communicating,” which often (falsely) assumes that these things are one way sending of messages. So you’ve definitely raised an important issue.
As a follow-up, you say “read, writing, and arithmetic.” Do you mean “reading, writing, and arithmetic?” Just trying to show that I am practicing my reading skills.
Second language training is an area where listening is VERY actively taught. I did some research after reading your post and found some interesting links to “teaching listening” and almost all of them were for teachers of english as a second language. This suggests that those people who learn english could very well be better at listening than native speakers.
In fact, when you think of it, the very term “native speaker” is such a bias to speaking and not listening. We don’t call them “native listeners,” do we? Do we?
Hey, you listening to me? You listening to ME? Huh? Are you?
Ah, thanks for catching that. Fixed now.
So in a way, “native” speakers are actually “naive” speakers. The description fits to a “t”, one might say. 😉
My wife teaches 4th grade here in suburban NJ, and she starts every year with work on listening skills. The way she was complaining about her students last night, I think it’s time for a refresher. At least that’s what I think she was complaining about; wasn’t really listening.
Some people don’t learn (or “get it”) from listening… They have to see it, or write it down, or act it out with their bodies.
So people can be taught to listen, but they might not ever absorb it as naturally as they would through other channels.
We experience the world in different ways from each other.
Vive la différence!