Today, in a remarkable show of solidarity, fifty of the fifty two Republican U.S. Senators abruptly resigned. It appears that they realized they were unsuited to their jobs for several reasons:
First, they had each had at least some experience in politics. Second, every one of them knew something about the work they were charged with doing. Third, not one was a rank beginner, lacking even the faintest idea of what the job required.
All of these faults made them, in the eyes of the President, hopelessly corrupt. After all, you can’t clear the swamp when you are the swamp.
There was many a moist eye in the room when Senator John McCain stepped up to the podium to issue the following heartfelt apology to the American people:
“My fellow Americans, I am deeply ashamed to have pretended to represent the great state of Arizona, given that I actually have experience in politics. One day I aspire to be like our great President, who comes into the office perfectly pure, with no political experience whatsoever. Or perhaps I can one day hope to be like our Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who is justifiably proud of the fact that she knows absolutely nothing about education, other than the fact that it involves shooting grizzly bears. To both of them, and to you, I apologize for the shameful competency that I have possessed all of these years. One day I too hope to be utterly unqualified for my job. When that day comes, I will be happy to once again serve this great nation of ours.”