Today the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency announced that in its decisions it will no longer factor in the costs of people getting sick and dying from air-borne fine particulate matter, nitrogen oxide, sulfur dioxide, ozone and other toxic chemicals in the air. It will only take into account how much any given decision costs industry.
Note: You might think this post is a parody, but it is not. This is literally the new EPA policy, as you can read for yourself.
Given this new focus, it seems to me that it would be logical, for the sake of clarity, for the EPA to change its name. Maybe it could call itself the IPA, or Industry Protection Agency.
One nice thing about this is that agency employees could stay on brand by playing a fun game: Every time another 1000 Americans become sick or die from asthma or heart and lung disease, everyone in the office drinks a pint of IPA.
To be fair, such an activity might lead to charges of corruption. Why are government officials spending U.S. taxpayer money to sit around the office all day getting drunk?
But there is a simple solution to this: In order to keep things aboveboard, all those many barrels of beer could simply be donated by industry.
Problem solved.