Working R.

The age-old question – it came up today in conversation, and I wonder whether there is any resolution to be had. Is it wise for people who are in a Relationship (notice the capital ‘R’) to try to work together? Yes, I know that it’s a question without an answer – or rather, it has many different answers, since every situation is different – but the question still seems worth pondering. There may be important principles and ideas going on here beneath the surface.

The most obvious thing – almost the first thing – that came up when we discussed this today – was the question of sexual tension. Very often people who are attracted to each other but who are not in a Relationship will find themselves working together, and this will create sparks that feeds into the work. In the performative arts, audiences can pick up on that kind of energy, even when it has been transmuted by the creative process.

It’s safe to say that this kind of sublimated sexual energy is prone to occur when one or more of the collaborators is either married to somebody else or is in some equivalent sort of monogomous relationship. In other words, not available.

On the other hand, there have been well known examples of bona fide couples that have been able to share their mutual fire with the world through their art: Lunt and Fontaine, Bogart and Bacall, Burns and Allen, to name a few.

I think of such people, and I become inspired by the thought that love can be the fuel for creative passion, without needing to be sublimated. But then I think of Ben Affleck and J.Lo, and I just get depressed.

3 Responses to “Working R.”

  1. Dagmar says:

    I believe that creative passion is built on productive fights or arguments. So love and respect for each other is the most important thing when people work together.

    At least that is what I have been told be my former boss, who happens to be an executive board-member of a company with 200 000 employees worldwide. He is a great leadership person, so at least I believe he knows what he is talking about. 😉
    As I left the company for good, it was quite personal, because I left him in some way. And it took us some time, before we could rebuilt our relationship (with a r not an R) :-) Yeah, I betrayed him or his love if you want to put it like this.

    What I truly experienced, I can’t love or be with someone I could not work with. Since I love my work and I spend 12-14 hours a day at work.
    @ troy – that might be abnormal :-)

    I believe that, if your are equal partners in your Relationship and your Relationship is based on love and respect, working together will be an exceptional experience and will lead you to creative orgasm you can’t hardly imagine, because of the productive arguments combined with a common interest.

    I am living this concept with my partner for three years now and we are still unbeatable together. :-)

    We hardly tell anybody that we are living together too and most people who learn to know us through work don’t realise it at all. They just see two business partners, because that is what we are. So we behave during office times like any other two persons working together. We are still two independent people and give each other a lot of space and freedom.

    If you would ask me what I would miss most, if I wouldn’t work with my partner any more, I would say, the midnight sessions on strategy.

    For short, if your Relationship is good and balanced in general, working together will be a lot of fun.

  2. Ilana Simons says:

    tho there are different types of relationships. in some, you share an intellectual bond, and work well together in the head world.
    in others, you’re different beings intellectually, but can support each other emotionally. this might create a bigger division between the home and the office, but finding a heart-and-not-mind soulmate can work. I think.

  3. dagmar says:

    The point is that I love my work and I don’t make a difference between my work life and the rest. That was decision I made once as I decided to be arrogant enough to care more for what I do, than to care about the money I make. I left a top management position with one of the largest media companies in the world to do the things I really love.
    My definition of work is a broader definition, it includes politics and philosophy to me, the work for and in the society I live in.

    In general I think, love is about the beauty you see in someone and thank god the beauty loving eyes can see differs a lot form person to person.
    I am attracted by the beauty of a mind, the sparks in thoughts, openness and curiosity.

    I just wanted it all – heart and mind – and I got it. I am happy enough to love and to be loved by my partner, we support each other emotionally, we make each other laugh and we laugh about the same things (a lot of times about me :-)). And laughing about the same things is a lot about minds working alike.

    My partner is just the guy, who knows that when I say that I want a Jaguar for Xmas I am not talking about a car or an animal, but a supercomputer. :-)
    Even if I don’t get my Jaguar this year, I still love him just for knowing me.

    And I still can’t believe that finding a heart-and-not-mind soulmate can work.

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