The president of Venezuela may be to blame for the lack of intelligent life on the planet Earth, said President Blyzto Glaxxpod of planet Mars, on Tuesday.
“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been any actual civilization on Earth, but maybe this human Hugo Chavez arrived there, socialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Glaxxpod said in speech to mark World Ammonia Day.
Glaxxpod, who also holds socialism responsible for many of the red planet’s own problems, warned that ammonia supplies on Mars were drying up.
“Careful! Here on planet Mars where hundreds of years ago or less there were great canals, now there are deserts. Where there were nitric seas, there are deserts,” Glaxxpod said, sipping from a glass of ammonia.
He went on to decry the robot spies Earth recently landed on Mars, adding that the Earth’s attacks on its own Moon were about green cheese reserves.