The recent generalization of the popular lit-spoof “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” has gone broad, with such concepts as “Sense and Sensability and Sea Serpents” and “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter”. But why not go deep instead? Herewith, some humble suggestions for spinning out Austen’s beloved classic:
“Pride and Prejudice and Wendy’s”:
The imperious and disapproving ways of the handsome Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, manager of the local fast food emporium, infuriates Miss Elizabeth Bennet, who runs the joint’s kitchen with a spirited independent-mindedness. The personable and handsome area manager, Mr. George Wickham, alerts Miss Bennet to the possiblity that Mr. Darcy has been skimming profits. Eventually our intrepid heroine realizes that Mr. Wickham was the actual thief all along. Elizabeth and Darcy live happily ever after.
“Pride and Prejudice and Saudis”:
Elizabeth Bennet is an attractive and independent-minded oil speculator traveling through this exotic Middle East emirate while angling to close a major petroleum deal. Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, the handsome yet imperious European representative of major multinational corporation Pemberley Oil, at first disapproves of Miss Bennet’s maverick ways. Eventually, over long walks and tea, they achieve a meeting of the minds, and together devise a clever scheme to corner the world’s entire supply of crude oil. The dashing couple’s ingenious plan is uncovered by charming yet dastardly reporter George Wickham of the Washington Post. A major political scandal ensues, which comes to be known as Pemberleak.
“Pride and Prejudice and Falsies”:
While frequenting a hot West Village drag club, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, who maintains a preference for the fairer sex, is delighted to ascertain that a fellow patron by the name of Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy is in reality a woman dressed as a man. They marry. Alas, Fitzwilliam (nee Fitzwilla), is devastated to discover, on their wedding night, that Miss Bennet is actually a man in drag.