It is well known that socks eat other socks. That is the only logical explanation for why socks disappear whenever I do laundry.
Sometimes they disappear in the washing machine, and sometimes in the dryer. My theory is that there are two distinct phases of the food cycle of soccus domesticus, a “wet” phase and a “dry” phase.
On the evidence of today’s laundry results, I have finally realized what should have been obvious all along: Socks are not merely cannibals, they are beyond cannibals. For a sock will only devour its own kind — a sock of the same color. So in a sense, socks are to cannibals as cannibals are to other carnivores.
How else to explain why, no matter how many socks I purchase, sooner or later I end up with one of each color?
Quantum sock superposition decoheres only very reluctantly, but eventually the chromodynamic minimum is reached.
So I suppose if all of your socks were exactly the same color that you’d end up with 1 sock? I’ve never known them to be that blatant about it. Perhaps you should give it a try, as an experiment.
Sometimes socks hitchhike. I’ve found them hiding in shirt sleeves or in the legs of pajama bottoms.
They eat their own kind, sure, but the practice a kind of sockelflage that hides them from us when we’re seeking to pair them.
Maybe socks just don’t want to be paired off. Maybe they are solo fliers and have some sort of sisyphaen curse to be paired, so they hide and evade and avoid it whenever possible.
I have certainly caught many a pair in the midst of battle…Neither yet devoured…both badly damaged and full of injuries such as toe and heal holes or snapped tendons (or the elastic equivalent for socks). They are ruthless towards each other.
cannibalism really socks. ;3
I am pretty sure that it was Avram Davidson (sp?) who wrote of the mystery of why one could not find a paper clip or a clothes hanger. The reason, he discovered, to his horror, was that paper clips were larva clothes hangers, that clothes hangers were adolescent bicycles, and that bicycles were the adult form. Left unsolved was the question of what the predators for these were.
Michael, I believe the bicycle is eaten by its own larva. This explains why, after your bicycle goes missing, there are suddenly lots of paper clips hanging around.