I finally saw Jurassic World. The plot is stupid, the characters are shallow and obvious. The dialog is invariably lame, and the pacing most of the way through is seriously problematic.

This movie makes the original look like Hamlet. Its plot twists make no real sense, and it violates the rules of its own fictional universe at every turn. In fact, it possesses absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever as a work of narrative fiction.

But it has dinosaurs. Big beautiful ugly man-eating dinosaurs. They run, or they stomp till the earth shakes, or they swoop down from the sky to rain terror. They have big scary teeth, they can fell a mighty tree with a single flick of their massive tails, and some of them are scary as hell.

Awesome awesome movie. Buy a jumbo tub of popcorn and see it on a big screen in 3D. Bribe the folks who run your local cinema to turn the sound way up.

You won’t regret it.

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